


view of an observer.

by keijigobrrr



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, POV Sakusa Kiyoomi, Sad Miya Atsumu, Suicide Attempt, sakusa panics lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-05
Updated: 2020-12-05
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:54:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27888601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/keijigobrrr/pseuds/keijigobrrr
Summary: it suddenly clicked,atsumu was trying to convince himself not to jump.
Relationships: Miya Atsumu & Sakusa Kiyoomi, Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi
Comments: 3
Kudos: 291





	view of an observer.

sakusa hummed, clutching onto the small carton of apple juice in his hand. he walked up the stairs of his school, right up to the rooftop. usually, no one was up on the rooftop. it's a peaceful place, quiet, and not crowded. sakusa hated crowded places, he could catch something being within a large group of people - he was not willing to risk it.

taking the last step up he pushed open the door ever so slightly, his curly hair swaying in front of his eyes. he freezes, eyes glaring out to the figure he sees.

he guesses it's a boy, he has blonde hair with a natural shade of brunette sticking out under it. his shoes were footed off to the sides, his school blazer was half off, he just stood there.. _muttering_ to himself.

he heard an angry grunt, he automatically noticed the boy. a fairly popular male, atsumu miya, but what sakusa wanted to ask, why was he all alone up here when he has multiple friends he could be hanging out with.

" _you've probably heard it all before.. I really thought that he might be the one, but then he told me he was done._ "

sakusa stood behind the door, listening to atsumu's quiet words. the blonde kept muttering unhearable words, before turning to his shoes and slipping them on, tugging his blazer over his shoulders. sakusa huffed, gently shutting the door before walking back downstairs. he tossed his empty juice carton into once of the bins he had passed.

there was only one thought running through his mind right now;

_what the fuck just happened?_

sakusa had no idea why he didn't say anything or why he hid behind the door like he was scared, he probably looked like a creep to anyone who would've passed by. sakusa sighed, running a hand through his curly locks and walking off to his next class.

another day had passed and sakusa was trotting his way up to the school roof. this time, he had a cream bun in his hand, taking small bites as he stepped up the stairs. it was pretty sunny, it should be comfortably warm. sakusa smiled at the feeling of the sun kissing against his skin, he felt particularly calm today.

reaching the last step sakusa pushed against the door, a lot wider than the day before. taking another bite of his bun, he stopped. eyes fixating on the blonde who yet again, had his shoes tucked off to the side, blazer sliding off one shoulder; muttering to himself.

the second day in a row, sakusa was convinced that atsumu was going crazy.

a natural thought when you hear someone just talking to themselves in a quiet space alone. _alone_ , why was atsumu even by himself? so many questions flooded into his head, sakusa was irritated. the warm light of the sun heated his face, it was pleasurable, but he couldn't enjoy it when there was another person up here with him.

atsumu let out a sigh, hands gripping the railing tightly, like yesterday, he let out an annoyed grunt.

_what the fuck_ , sakusa wanted to say. his lips were glued shut at this moment, he was about to just shut the door and go back downstairs until he heard atsumu speak clearly, his ears practically perking up like some dog. sakusa was being way too nosey, he felt like he was prying into somebodies business. newsflash - he _was_.

" _everyone ignores me, everyone steals, I don't fit in with anyone here._ "

atsumu started to shrug off his blazer even more until he stopped. it was like he was in deep thought. sakusa was beyond confused, what was happening? he watches atsumu sigh and mutter again, the blonde turns back to his shoes.

like yesterday, he slides back into his shoes and pushes his blazer back on. his face blank, almost to blank for _atsumu miya_.

sakusa closes the door, like the day before, he makes sure it does slam to started the boy and like he said he was going to like five minutes ago, he starts walking down the stairs.

sakusa thinks to himself, maybe he should just hang out with komori for the rest of lunch break, that sounds like a plan. he shrugs, jogging down the stairs. he had a feeling that this week was going to be weird as hell.

he sighed, tossing the plastic that covered his cream bun, _that he had practically shoved down his throat when he was stalking atsumu,_ into the bin he had passed.

two days passed and sakusa had been going up to the rooftop every day, only to secretly encounter atsumu.

he didn't talk to him, he just looked at him. he had his shoes off and blazer nearly on the ground. he would always be muttering to himself, sakusa had no idea what he was saying. but he tried to listen, he could make out only a few words and sentences.

_'I'm feeling better thank you for listening..'_

and,

_'no one would ever do this for me.'_

it was odd, sakusa could admit that straight up. but he wanted to know why atsumu kept coming up to the rooftop, what was his purpose? just, _why_? it was so weird and sakusa just wanted to sit up there and scroll on his phone for something that looked interesting.

but every day, every single day, there atsumu stood, muttering to himself with no shoes and a messy school blazer.

it was an inconvenience, sakusa wanted to relax before his last class. he didn't want to hang around a screaming bokuto and his stupid boyfriend who is kind of scary in a way, he sure as hell didn't want to hang out with komori because he sees that _fucker_ every weekend and it's annoying.

pushing all of his complaints aside, sakusa was sure of one thing. there was something playing in atsumu's head, something the bothered him. something that made him want to be alone and away from his large friend group.

sakusa has noticed one thing atsumu says before he leaves the roof, _I feel better now_.

it's such a blank and dead tone, it's almost painful.

atsumu looks like he's in pain, sakusa doesn't know why he keeps coming back. he's not a sadist and enjoys watching people suffer, his legs just move on their own and suddenly he's pushing open the door to the roof.

now here sakusa stands, behind the door, peaking out at atsumu who's standing a little further away from the railing, one shoe off as he stares into the distance with a surprised look, tears trickling down his cheeks.

" _I just want to stop the scars that come, every time that I go home, that's why I came up here instead.._ "

that's what atsumu had said, sakusa shivers. he's starting to put all the pieces together when atsumu suddenly on the ground, fingers in his as he tugs, mumbling a small - _I can't handle that pitiful expression._

a few minutes passing and atsumu sniffles, standing up again. he tugs the shoe onto his foot before inhaling a deep breath. like the days before, sakusa sneaks away with a feeling of guilt rising from the pits of his stomach.

it suddenly clicked,

atsumu was trying to convince _himself_ not to jump.

" _today's the day._ "

atsumu said clearly, sakusa pressed the door open, quietly watching the blonde. atsumu looked as if he was hallucinating this time, his thoughts clear, he was calm.

sakusa watched atsumu slip out of his shoes, sliding them slightly away from the bottom of the railing.

he watches atsumu take off his blazer, he folds it neatly and drops it next to his shoes.

he watches atsumu lift a leg over the railing, following his other leg so after.

he watches atsumu ruffle his loose blonde strands, the wind howls against him.

he hears atsumu laugh, he sees atsumu's smile.

and suddenly, sakusa's his launching forward, arms stretched out and his half-eaten bread on the ground with his bag tugged off.

" _I'm gonna jump now and be free._ "

atsumu leans forward, feet scuffling off the edge.

he had jumped.

sakusa heaved out a shout, the top of the railing dipping into his stomach. bending over, his hand clamp over a thin wrist. he struggles in an inhale, sakusa grunts.

atsumu's head snaps up, eyes filling with tears. sakusa let's out a yell, pulling atsumu up, making sure his feet are sitting on the edge before he lifts him over the railing.

they both tumble to the ground, sakusa hit the floor while atsumu hit sakusa's chest.

they stay like that, sakusa sat trying to catch his breath, atsumu was quiet and still.

" _sakusa kiyoomi._ "

sakusa announced out loud, atsumu's head lifted from the curly-haired boy's chest, he opened his mouth to question but sakusa stopped him.

" _that's my name._ "


End file.
